Calcutta

Just got back from Calcutta. I had initially planned to spend a week there, ended up staying for two. Seems like I was there for a lot longer, though not quite long enough.

There’s lots to see and do in Calcutta. High-end restaurants with hilarious descriptions of the food on offer. (Whatever the people who wrote that were smoking, I’d like some of it.) Angry, somewhat bemused glances for singing silly Backstreet Boys and Westlife songs in said restaurants. Male waiters who wear generous amounts of eyeliner and absolutely demand tips. Smelly, overcrowded pubs with drunk college kids merrily singing old Hindi songs, while loud fights between other sufficiently inebriated people break out all around.

A shady brothel, a renowned temple, a court, a prison and a posh residential area, all within two minutes of each other. A large, popular museum that may or may not have fake relics and fossils on display.

Friendly old drug dealers who try to sell you the finest “Bombay Black”. Scary rickshaw drivers who try to browbeat tourists into getting onto the hand-drawn carts. They might seem eager and friendly enough at first, but if you decline, their eyes say “get on, or I slit your throat in your sleep”. (One of them even claimed to have all of eight sons living in Bombay, for some reason.) Clean metro platforms. Uncrowded, punctual trains. No fist fights in train compartments. No yelling. No separate compartments for men and women. Yellow-coloured, expensive Ambassador taxis.

Pink iPods and purple Walkmans. Movie theaters with pretty cats running around the back seats. Big stationery stores. Bookstores. More bookstores. Even more bookstores. Glorious, glorious Starmark.

Dusty, colourful, confusing, crowded marketplaces where you can get pretty much anything you want.

Snooty, condescending women. Pretty women. Men who can’t stop staring at women’s chests. Scorching heat. Friendly people. Great new friends. Big, scary birds, handsome tigers and sweet cotton candy at the zoo. Lions in heat. Sitting by the lake at Victoria Memorial, surrounded by couples getting cosy under trees. Bright green leaves against a brilliant blue-grey evening sky. Lots of bad jokes. Lots of laughs. “If you know what I mean.”

Aimless wandering. Coffee and conversations. Comfortable silences. Lots of brownies and ice cream. Double chocolate chip muffins. With chocolate sauce.

The Girl™. Heh.

I’m going back in a few weeks.

Flying for the first time tomorrow.